Who Would You Be Without This ____Wound? A Re-Creation Myth

This is a re-creation story for any child, woman, person or man who has experienced some kind of wounding in this life (or another). It might have come from your parents, family of origin, a teacher, religion, the country you were born in, your economic background, the friendships you lost, support you grew up with or without, the loss of innocence you may or may not have experienced. Who would you be without this “not Black enough”, “too Black”, “learns differently”, injury in college, missing father, always the fixer, always single, too short, too wide, too loud, can’t sing wound ? What if you didn’t have that burden to carry?

Last Tuesday I woke up with a pain on the left side of my neck. My left shoulder has been hurting off and on for some time but I can normally do some mobility and stabilizing exercises to get it to feel better. But this pain made it difficult to even turn and look over my shoulder and it got me thinking about shouldering old burdens and old stories. I believe our bodies speak to us in very simple and direct ways but we usually aren’t listening with that kind of an ear. So I started asking myself “was I hanging onto old stories I believed or even older stories that perhaps my parents or ancestors had been attached to?” And that’s when I asked myself “what would it be like if I didn’t hold onto this burden?” (i.e. wound).

I wanna be clear, I believe there is a balance and nuance needed when it comes to shedding beliefs and stories about oneself. At first you might just be reacting to circumstances unaware of your hurt, shame, or defensiveness, then you become aware of a pattern of reacting in the same way, after you question that reaction, and eventually maybe decide to choose different responses. It’s worth sorting out what behaviors are unconscious reactions to maybe a deeper hurt but then after looking at the wound from all angles and learning how it shaped you, I think there’s a time for letting it go. 

Since I like rituals I always enjoy making up a way to ceremoniously release something or bring it in. After writing my first book, Lost & Found: Founding The Power In Your Voice, I realized we genuinely get to tell our own life story to ourselves the way that we want it to be told. The way that heals us and cushions us. We get to highlight and shade the moments that we want to. We get to paint in color or black and white and in turn re-create ourselves.

So I ask again, who would you be without that wound that has been hanging over you? The you’re not smart enough, thin enough, soft enough, fast enough. To hear more about re-creation myths, come join me Sunday, September 27th when I’ll be workshopping some New Porch Music at Shapeshifter Lab. Until then, keep dreaming!