The Top 8 Ways My Mind Makes Music The Monster
Sometimes my worries can transform music from a healing, empowering force into a bit of a monster exaggerating many of the fears I wish I still didn’t have. But I’ve worked with enough people and know enough artists to hear them say the same. These are some of the ways my mind can blow things slightly out of proportion.
1. Over Preparing
I know, I’m feeling stressed when I start over checking my work, or creating multiple upon multiple back-up plans. Preparation is great but so is remembering the intention and experience you want to create as an artist/musician.
2. Trouble Turning Off
Sometimes inspiration strikes and I want to follow, but other times I can’t turn-off and it’s because I just don’t feel there’s ever going to be enough time in the day. That’s when I know I need to have a talk with myself and say “self, thank you but it’s time for you to take a back seat”
3. Forgetting To Eat
As much as my friends and family like to joke about my commitment to carrying food with me wherever I go, I had to learn to do that because of my tendency to overly focus on work and forget to eat. Now I recognize maintaining my energy enhances my focus and ability to create more impactful work.
4. Forgetting To Step Away
You know that feeling when you know you’re not making great creative decisions anymore but you just won't step away from the computer/piano/etc? I think this comes back to that fear that there isn't enough time. The irony is I always feel such a sense of relief and shift in my perspective if I go outside and take a walk or dance break or something unrelated for a little while.
5. Skipping Time With Friends
If I don’t manage my time well, I can easily get too drained to even want to spend time with friends. And while I know I have to honor time alone (because I need it to refuel my energy), I also need community to fill up and feel right again. Scheduling time with family/friends is a good way for me to prioritize self-care in how I plan my work week.
6. Beating Myself Up For Not Being “farther along”
This is a big one! I hear it from my students and I know the trappings of my own thinking as well. It’s really easy to fall down the rabbit hole of “I’m behind and everyone else is getting things accomplished but me”. The truth is art takes time and honoring your own pace is one of the biggest components to being a thriving artist.
7. “Everything Needs To Be Better!”
I have a vivid imagination and very often my mind gets a spool of ideas that I am left trying to sort out. Once I select something to focus on however, my imagination can often go wild thinking of bigger and bigger things to do, leaving little old human me to put more and more pressure on myself to “make it happen”. This is where breathing and breaking down my goals into smaller steps is crucial.
8. “I’m Not Good Enough For This”
I’ve gotten over the initial big hill of this self critical idea but it still pops up from time to time and that’s when I often remind myself of what I regularly say to my students. The reason you are questioning yourself is because you care for music that much. In fact it’s a sign of love and respect for music, so why not start again with the intention to share your love for music through music? This always feels so much better and genuine.
So let me know if you can relate to any of these dementor-type thoughts. If you’re looking for more reaffirming experiences around the challenges of art making and finding your artistic voice, check out a copy of my recent book Lost & Found: Finding The Power In Your Voice. Hope to see you or hear you somewhere soon.